Post by Malcaius Davion on Apr 21, 2014 9:15:01 GMT
A question was asked on a list:
"I only drank a couple drops, but it made me feel things that I had never felt before. I was feeling a lot less drained than I had been for days before this (ah hell, I was ENERGIZED!), and I got a really strong sense of hunger. I can't wait to be able to do that again *grin* I'm just curious, how did others of you feel after the first time you had drunk someone else's blood?"
Sarah Dorrance answers:
The first time I ever had blood was during that orgy with David and Michelle, but it wasn't more than a drop or two, and I also hadn't quite fully woken up to myself yet (although I have to say that changed pretty dramatically after the encounter). I'd exhibited a tendency to play succubus during sex, and noticed that while Cass (my first girlfriend) was drained after she performed magic, as were all her friends in the circle, when I did my own spells they left me feeling incredibly horny, because they all seemed to tap into my libido. I speculated that I used a completely different source of energy, and she agreed. I'd always been nocturnal, also. That was about it.
After Dave and Mickey, I started getting the photosensitivity, enhanced psychic abilities, etc.; and I manifested an actual craving for pranic force, whereas before I just sort of took it. I rarely had a lover or friend who was willing to donate blood. The closest I got were people who didn't mind my biting, scratching, or otherwise getting violent during sex; I could get a little from the wounds. Masochists are fun because they produce enough endorphins to get you stoned, and the endorphins keep them from being hurt by what you do to them (within reason).
Still, that was nothing compared to the first time I had a good-sized mouthful of blood.
"Stoned" doesn't even begin to describe it. I had electricity pouring through me (at least, that's what it felt like). The taste was similarly electric. It was sweet fire in my mouth. I don't know if the emotional intensity was due more to the contact with the blood itself, or due to my own gratitude, and the trust and fear that my then-boyfriend offered up to me. He was usually a top; I was the first woman he'd really switched for. I actually think it's scarier surrendering yourself to a top who has some submissive tendencies, especially those that mirror yours. Their imaginations are usually much more creative, and they often know you inside out a lot quicker. I suspect that he felt the same way about me.
After that, I didn't get more than a drop or two of blood - he was scared of blades, which I can appreciate - and that by biting. We broke up in the summer of 1995. I had a few donors later that year (again, masochists who got off on pain and allowed me to do things that would incidentally draw blood) and then I didn't get to feed at all until this May.
When I did feed on energy and a single drop of blood for the first time in three years, I accidentally caused a tornado in the front yard of my home in Cincinnati (overseas). Apparently that explosive intimacy had to be released in a rather unconventional manner. I still don't know exactly how that happened, just that the next night my fiancée calls me up on the phone (overseas long-distance) and asks me in an amused tone of voice, "All, right, Sarah, who and what were you doing last night? You caused a tornado. It took out half of our shade tree."
When I got my first mouthful of blood for the first time in a little over three years, I was intoxicated. I'm afraid I don't remember much of that night. I remember being so drained that I could barely stand - I can't remember why. That might have been the night I cast a circle to take some of myself and put it into a charm for an acquaintance who had performed a spell for me a while earlier, and I'd wanted to repay the favour. Sounds right, so that was probably it. Anyway, I was rather faint and dizzy at the time, not up to my usual methods of removing blood (which, while gentler than they had been on some of my other lovers and donors, still required a certain output of kinetic energy) and my donor made an offer and it just sort of happened. I can't remember if I was crying at the time; I think I wanted to. I don't know how long I took, though knowing my appetites, it had to have been a good while. I'd forgotten how incredibly good blood tasted. Richer than anything I'd ever ingested. I felt like flying afterwards. Once the wound got bandaged up, and I turned off the lights, it was then that my donor informed me that my eyes were glowing a bright yellow, and I freaked out.
Part of the reason I formed this list was because of that incident. I am a sceptic, and a bit of an empiricist. I like things that have a rational explanation, that fit into the "real world" (don't get me wrong, I love fantasy, I just like to draw a sharp line between fancy and reality) and can be observed objectively by "sensible" people. I believe in common sense. When weird shit like having a basically rational, sensible donor tell me that my eyes are glowing occurs, I kind of get nervous. I needed to talk to other people about this. Suddenly I felt very self conscious. It's one thing to have a blood fetish, or to take life force/pranic energy from other people. Blood fetishes are almost passé in the Goth subculture (at least, they USED to be) and "psychic vampirism" (I don't use this in the sense that Dion Fortune and Anton LaVey meant the term to be used) is fairly common, if not accepted, in the New Age/Wiccan crowd. Accidental tornados, glowing eyes, surviving a bus collision and a suicide attempt that were supposed to have killed me, etc. and above all, the damned addiction/craving are NOT "normal." Somewhere I had crossed an invisible line, and I felt very small and lonely and frightened. And I figured that I couldn't be the only one out there feeling that way. Not with six billion people on the planet, millions of them on the Internet. Hence the support group.
"I only drank a couple drops, but it made me feel things that I had never felt before. I was feeling a lot less drained than I had been for days before this (ah hell, I was ENERGIZED!), and I got a really strong sense of hunger. I can't wait to be able to do that again *grin* I'm just curious, how did others of you feel after the first time you had drunk someone else's blood?"
Sarah Dorrance answers:
The first time I ever had blood was during that orgy with David and Michelle, but it wasn't more than a drop or two, and I also hadn't quite fully woken up to myself yet (although I have to say that changed pretty dramatically after the encounter). I'd exhibited a tendency to play succubus during sex, and noticed that while Cass (my first girlfriend) was drained after she performed magic, as were all her friends in the circle, when I did my own spells they left me feeling incredibly horny, because they all seemed to tap into my libido. I speculated that I used a completely different source of energy, and she agreed. I'd always been nocturnal, also. That was about it.
After Dave and Mickey, I started getting the photosensitivity, enhanced psychic abilities, etc.; and I manifested an actual craving for pranic force, whereas before I just sort of took it. I rarely had a lover or friend who was willing to donate blood. The closest I got were people who didn't mind my biting, scratching, or otherwise getting violent during sex; I could get a little from the wounds. Masochists are fun because they produce enough endorphins to get you stoned, and the endorphins keep them from being hurt by what you do to them (within reason).
Still, that was nothing compared to the first time I had a good-sized mouthful of blood.
"Stoned" doesn't even begin to describe it. I had electricity pouring through me (at least, that's what it felt like). The taste was similarly electric. It was sweet fire in my mouth. I don't know if the emotional intensity was due more to the contact with the blood itself, or due to my own gratitude, and the trust and fear that my then-boyfriend offered up to me. He was usually a top; I was the first woman he'd really switched for. I actually think it's scarier surrendering yourself to a top who has some submissive tendencies, especially those that mirror yours. Their imaginations are usually much more creative, and they often know you inside out a lot quicker. I suspect that he felt the same way about me.
After that, I didn't get more than a drop or two of blood - he was scared of blades, which I can appreciate - and that by biting. We broke up in the summer of 1995. I had a few donors later that year (again, masochists who got off on pain and allowed me to do things that would incidentally draw blood) and then I didn't get to feed at all until this May.
When I did feed on energy and a single drop of blood for the first time in three years, I accidentally caused a tornado in the front yard of my home in Cincinnati (overseas). Apparently that explosive intimacy had to be released in a rather unconventional manner. I still don't know exactly how that happened, just that the next night my fiancée calls me up on the phone (overseas long-distance) and asks me in an amused tone of voice, "All, right, Sarah, who and what were you doing last night? You caused a tornado. It took out half of our shade tree."
When I got my first mouthful of blood for the first time in a little over three years, I was intoxicated. I'm afraid I don't remember much of that night. I remember being so drained that I could barely stand - I can't remember why. That might have been the night I cast a circle to take some of myself and put it into a charm for an acquaintance who had performed a spell for me a while earlier, and I'd wanted to repay the favour. Sounds right, so that was probably it. Anyway, I was rather faint and dizzy at the time, not up to my usual methods of removing blood (which, while gentler than they had been on some of my other lovers and donors, still required a certain output of kinetic energy) and my donor made an offer and it just sort of happened. I can't remember if I was crying at the time; I think I wanted to. I don't know how long I took, though knowing my appetites, it had to have been a good while. I'd forgotten how incredibly good blood tasted. Richer than anything I'd ever ingested. I felt like flying afterwards. Once the wound got bandaged up, and I turned off the lights, it was then that my donor informed me that my eyes were glowing a bright yellow, and I freaked out.
Part of the reason I formed this list was because of that incident. I am a sceptic, and a bit of an empiricist. I like things that have a rational explanation, that fit into the "real world" (don't get me wrong, I love fantasy, I just like to draw a sharp line between fancy and reality) and can be observed objectively by "sensible" people. I believe in common sense. When weird shit like having a basically rational, sensible donor tell me that my eyes are glowing occurs, I kind of get nervous. I needed to talk to other people about this. Suddenly I felt very self conscious. It's one thing to have a blood fetish, or to take life force/pranic energy from other people. Blood fetishes are almost passé in the Goth subculture (at least, they USED to be) and "psychic vampirism" (I don't use this in the sense that Dion Fortune and Anton LaVey meant the term to be used) is fairly common, if not accepted, in the New Age/Wiccan crowd. Accidental tornados, glowing eyes, surviving a bus collision and a suicide attempt that were supposed to have killed me, etc. and above all, the damned addiction/craving are NOT "normal." Somewhere I had crossed an invisible line, and I felt very small and lonely and frightened. And I figured that I couldn't be the only one out there feeling that way. Not with six billion people on the planet, millions of them on the Internet. Hence the support group.